Recently someone I know had gone to a weeklong intensive residential class directed at healing and counseling. Before they went, they explained to the director that they had some physical challenges that had to be considered. A form was sent to them which they filled out, and they were then assured their needs would be met. The facility was a long way from home on the West Coast, so once the commitment was made there was no turning back. As well there were no refunds. When the person got to facility it became clear that there was no special consideration for them there at all. In fact, the person had to hire someone at the facility to help them, and then go out on their own to get the things they needed.
What ended up transpiring is that basically the person was ostracized from the rest of the group. It was apparent this person was struggling, and it became clear that the others in the group were turned off by the struggles. In several conversations it was implied that perhaps there was something this person had “done” and that these struggles were “lessons” to teach this person or “correct” them in some way. This added a layer of stress to an already stressful situation. While the person got through the class, it was difficult and lonely emotionally for them.
When we are healing, or teaching healing we need to put our constructs, our expectations, and certainly our ego at the door. We are not psychologists, and to try to use pop psychology is a shame/blame or fear mentality against someone who is suffering is very destructive not to mention plain wrong. Our egos need to be left at the door along with any sort of judgments about the person. If healing becomes a bludgeon rather than a positive affirmation of wellness, wholeness, acceptance, and love, it is no longer healing but something else entirely. We need to stand in the gap between that which seen and the unseen. Always expects the best, hope edify and lift people up. We should not invest in negative outcomes, but rather manifests the positive ones, and the highest ones for that soul.